It Matters to Me about You

Today, I found this encouraging poem that reminded me afresh that God cares for me. No matter what I go through in this life, He is with me. The difficulties, trials or afflictions that pained me at times, are actually working together for my good in God's wonderful providence.

God is doing a deeper work in my soul to make me what He wants me to be. God is conforming me more and more to the image of Christ. The process is painful but necessary. This is the only way I can bear fruit for Christ.

This reminder helps me to see my difficulties and afflictions due to bipolar or depression, panic attacks, stress and other difficulties, from a different angle and to value what God is doing in me through them. It helps me to face every tomorrow with God's strength and grace.

I know God loves me and He is with me. God has His purposes in all that I am going through and He will accomplished His purposes in and through me. I am a weak vessel and an instrument in the hands of a mighty God.

I humbly submit to His will and pray that I may learn to glorify Him even in the furnace of affliction because He has promised never to leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).

If you are going through a very difficult and painful time now or suffering in some ways, I hope this poem and the reminder that God cares for you will bring some comfort and uplift your heart to Him Who loved us and gave His Son for us for nothing shall ever separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35-39)

IT MATTERS TO ME ABOUT YOU

My child, I know thy sorrows,
Thine every grief I share;
I know how thou art tested,
And, what is more - I care.

Think not I am indifferent
To what affecteth thee;
Thy weal and woe are matters
Of deep concern to Me.

But, child, I have a purpose
In all that I allow;
I ask thee then to trust Me,
Though all seems dark just now.

How often thou hast asked Me
To purge away thy dross!
But this refining process
Involves for thee - a cross.

There is no other pathway
If thou would'st really be
Conformed unto the image
Of Him Who died for thee.

Thou can'st not be like Jesus
Till self is crucified;
And as a daily process
The cross must be applied.

Just as the skillful gard'ner
Applies the pruning knife,
E'en so, I too would sever
The worthless from thy life.

I have but one sole object -
That thou should'st fruitful be!
And is it not thy longing
That I much fruit should see?

Then shrink not from the training
I needs must give to thee;
I know just how to make thee
What I would have thee be.

Remember that I love thee!
Think not I am unkind,
When trials come to prove thee,
And joy seems left behind.

'Tis but a little longer
Until I come again;
What now seems so mysterious
Will all be then made plain.

Take courage then; and fear not!
Press forward to the prize,
A crown of life awaits thee,
Glory before thee lies!

- Alice C. Lefroy

Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings,
and not one of them is forgotten before God?
But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Fear not therefore; ye are of more value than many sparrows.
(Luke 12:6,7)

This photo is taken by my brother-in-Christ, CW Fong. Thank God for his kindness to share this lovely picture with us.

Thank you for stopping by.

What do you think of this poem? Do you also see God's works in your life through your trials, pains and sufferings? Can you find comfort in God's love even through your difficulties or sufferings?

Take care. Have a blessed day!

Coping with Panic Attacks

Thank God for giving me a good rest. I woke up today feeling very refreshed!

Thank God that the effect of the panic attack yesterday have finally subsided. This is the first time I have felt the effect of the panic attack almost for a whole day. Hmm... maybe this is a sign that my nervous system is getting weaker. I need to be careful to manage the stress and strain so that my condition will not worsen.

Thank God for discipline to take a break yesterday and rest so that my condition can stabilised. I prayed and read God's Words, and found much encouragement. I also listened to some instrumental music. They are very relaxing and soothing.

I used to take long walks along the beach and listen to instrumental music on my portable mp3 player whenever I am very stressed up with work. My old workplace was near a beach.

So yesterday, I laid down on my couch and closed my eyes while I listened to the instrumental music. I imagined that I was walking along the beach and watching the sea and the waves. I missed the beach! Somehow walking along the beach and watching the sea and waves have a calming effect on me. I am reminded that God Who creates the Heavens and earth, created me, loves me and will take care of me.

Thank God that today I feel ready to face a new day.

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you have a blessed day!

Some Encouraging Quotes to ponder while managing my panic attacks

A few of my friends seemed to be going through a difficult time now either due to coping with clinical depression or other stressful situations in their life.

I am also learning to manage my mood swings as I have been experiencing them recently. I pray daily that God will give me the grace and strength to manage the challenges in my life so that it will not escalate into either manic or plunged me down into depression. That's the tricky part with having a mood disorder. A simple mood swing which anyone else may experience can trigger off relapses in me due to my bipolar.

This morning several things happened at the same time. I was taken aback by something that happened and it triggered off a panic attack. Then something else needed my urgent attention and it intensified the panic feeling that I was having. In the past years, I have experienced panic attacks whenever I am very stressed up or very tired.

I found myself kind of breathlessness, a little giddy and my heart was pounding away. Thank God for strengthening me. I prayed for grace to calm down. Thankfully, I was able to talk to a friend and she helped me to brainstorm on an urgent decision I have to made. She kindly suggested some ways for me to cope. I spoke my mind out aloud to her and it did helped me to see things from a clearer perspective.

I am thankful to God that the several situations this morning are all settled. But the panic attack didn't seemed to quite go off completely. I realized that this is the reaction of an over-sensitive nervous system and I need to be patient for it to go away. It's just like clinical depression happens when the chemical in our brain malfunctioned. It takes a while for the chemical in our brain to be restored. So in the case of panic attack, there is a surge of adrenaline flooding my brain and giving me this "fight or flight" feeling.

I did a quick search on the internet and found the following useful resources on coping with Panic Attack:

Coping with Panic Attacks by The Counselling Service of University of Liverpool

Coping with Panic Attacks by Merck Source

10 tips for coping with panic attacks by Daily Mail

I can't seemed to concentrate on my freelance work that I need to do. My heart is still pounding. I am taking a break. I am praying that I will feel better soon and can get some work done.

I am going to spend some time to pray and read the Bible. I hope to get some rest too. I am going to pray for some of my church friends, blogging friends and penpals as they are going through very tough time now. Maybe that's what God wants me to do now :-)

Meanwhile, I am going to leave you with these encouraging quotes. Hope you have a blessed day.

Courage : the power to let go of the familiar.

Happiness : it is not how much we have but how much we enjoy that makes happiness.

Friends :

~ your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still likes you.

~ a friend is the first person to come in when the whole world goes out.

~ in my friend, I find a second self.

~ I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

~ we do not remember days, we remember moments.

People:

~ the greatness of a man can nearly always be measured by his willingness to be kind.

~ great people are ordinary people with extraordinary amounts of determination.

~ tough time never last but tough people do.


















Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Blogging - Another therapeutic activity for me to cope with depression and bipolar mood swings

Dear Reader,

Do you enjoy blogging? What makes you start your blog? Or if you are a visitor without a blog, what makes you return to read someone's blog? What makes you come back to read my blog?


I thankful to God for enabling me to start this blog around February this year ie. February 2008. I have found blogging to be very therapeutic to me in my coping with my depression and my bipolar mood swings. And thank God this blog also benefits other readers as well.

I write quite regularly, as you can see. Partly because I love writing and it helps me to cope with my depression or manic due to bipolar disorder. Partly also because I desire to share with others my life experiences and God's goodness to me, as well as resources that I have found useful to manage depression and bipolar disorder or Bible verses/sermons/books/other articles I have read and found useful.

Blogging enables me to share my thoughts and feelings and to kind of release them. Sometimes by doing so, I can see things from a different perspective. When others visit my blog and left their comments, they also helped me in many ways. Comments usually bring cheers. Sometimes a short comment left by someone can really make my day :-)

I used to write long emails or letters to friends before I started blogging. Yes, I write letters :-) I am one of those old-fashioned, rare specifies. I know few people in the modern world today write letters. But I do. And I love doing so.

But one complain I often get when I write letters or emails to people and I suspect even when I post on my blog ;-) is that I write too long. I am too long-winded, they said :-) Hmm... I don't quite know how to handle this. I always feel I have so much to say and writing short messages can't quite express how I feel. There was one incident in the past, when I got scolded by a friend for writing long emails to her. She said she is too busy and have no time to read my emails :-( Now I hardly write to my friends as most of them do not reply. I am not sure whether they got the mails, whether they read them or they find them burdensome. Just waiting for a reply from them can sometimes almost drive me crazy! Now I am corresponding only with a handful of friends who haven't got tired of my writings yet :-)

Most of the time, I am sharing my thoughts and feelings and resources on this blog almost daily. And I also visit my blogging friends as often as I can. In the blogging world, I feel accepted and appreciated. Besides this blog which is my personal online diary, I have another blog which is dedicated solely to Resources I have found useful on the internet on managing depression, bipolar plus some personal growth articles. I also have some other hobbies blogs where I share my passion on making bookmarks, homemade crafts and gifts, photography, Christian articles/books and my freelance work. I am active mainly on this blog as I use it as an online journal or diary and almost daily I record my thoughts and feelings here.

Actually, I didn't know what is a blog or what is blogging until quite recently. You might laugh. But when I first started this blog, I still didn't know much about blogging. I just wanted to share my story and useful resources with others. A brother-in-Christ suggested this idea to me. I have a website but hardly anyone seems to be visiting and so I decided to try blogging instead as it is free.

When I first started this blog, I wasn't quite sure what I can or cannot put on my blog. I also wasn't sure what I can or cannot write on others' blog comment. I was a little fearful of "breaking the rules" of blogging.

One of my brothers, Daniel, has been blogging since a few years back and I visited his blog on and off. He is in Malaysia and he shares his life and activities on his blog. He is quite a funny person and so he posts all kinds of things on his blog and I always laughed when I visited his blog. So I read his blog on and off but I have no idea what blogging is really all about.

Recently, when Daniel visited me, he finally gave me the definition for a blog! He said a short and sweet definition for a blog is "An Online Diary". Daniel said my blog is my online diary and I can blog about anything I want. I can write anything that I want to write and share with the public. He reminded me that what I write on my blog is on a public domain. So he said, don't post anything that you don't want others to know ;-)

Daniel also said there is no hard and fast rule on posting comments on others' blogs. The owner of the blogs have every right not to publish any comments if they prefer not to. Same thing for me. I can choose not to publish any comments that I don't wish to.

I thank God for the wonderful experience I have had since I started blogging in February. I have enjoyed sharing my life experiences, God's goodness to me, and the resources I found helpful to me or the Bible verses/books I read with others.

One the greatest blessing I derived from blogging is that I have been able to "meet" many friends through the world of blogging. I have never expected this at all! I am learning new things daily from my blogging friends. I love to read and write. And in some sense, I have found "like-minded" people. My blogging friends are from different parts of the world and they blog about any topics under the sun :-)

I am thankful too for a few Penpals I have "met" through blogging! This is wonderful. I used to have penpals when I was a teenager. And now having penpals again when I am forty++ is really nice :-) Thanks for writing to me, dear Penpals :-)


Here's a big "THANK YOU" to you, dear Reader, who are reading my blog. Thank you for stopping by. I hope what you are reading here on this blog are helping you in some ways.

And a big "THANK YOU" too to all of you, my dear Blogging Friends, for visiting me whenever you can and leaving me kind comments to share your thoughts and feelings with me after you read my posts, or just to let me know you have visited. Thanks to all of you!

And a big "THANK YOU" also to all of you, my dear Penpals, for writing to me and choosing me as you Penpal :-)

One thing I found that is helpful in blogging is to try and remember to leave a comment whenever possible. It seems to bring some encouragement to fellow bloggers to know that what they have posted has helped others or to hear opinions others have. Or maybe just to know someone cares and have visited them. So I hope you don't mind me leaving my comments all over your blogs when I visit your blogs :-)

Oops, here I go again. I think I am getting too long-winded again :-)

Today, I thank God for all of you and for the way He is making my life more colourful through blogging.

Thanks for stopping by. Do leave me a comment, if you can, to share your thoughts and feelings with me! It makes my day :-)




This is meant to make you laugh :P


Hope you have a blessed day!


Take care.

Therapeutic Walks and Photography to cope with Depression or Bipolar Mood Swings

Recently, I was feeling rather tired and stressed up after several weeks of manic plus stress at work, etc etc. I could feel that my moods were swinging. When I am too tired or stressed up, my moods tend to drop. Having a mood disorder like Bipolar Disorder, I realized that I need to take steps to slow down and prevent these mood swings to either escalate into manic or plunged me into depression. I realized that in the past because I failed to notice my mood swings or indicators that I am overly stressed or strained, over a period of time I eventually plunged into severe clinical depression that can last for 3 to 6 months or longer.

I am learning now to recognize early signs and symptoms of possible relapses or trigger factors to depression or mood swings. I am learning to manage stress better and if necessary to cut down on stress level by eliminating the things that are stressing me up. So I have cut down on some activities and scheduled more down time. I also turned down freelance assignments which I don't time I can manage or complete on time.

I cut down a little on blogging. But I found that as blogging is therapeutic to me, it's hard to really take a complete break. I love to write and writing is therapeutic to me. So I am still blogging and sharing my thoughts, feelings, experiences and what I read or find useful. Visiting my blogging friends and having them visit me is a means of support to me. This is a crucial part of my recovery and maintenance of mental well-being.

I also need to do things that will help me to relax and cheer me up. Besides praying and reading God's Words, and rest, I have been able to spend some time with some hobbies. Some activities that I have found to be therapeutic are taking walks to enjoy nature and develop my interest in photography.

So recently, I took a walk past Woodlands Town Garden which is adjacent to Bukit Timah Expressway. I didn't really go into the Garden because I was alone and I didn't want to walk alone there. Although Singapore is a safe place, it is still not wise to go to quiet places alone. So I admired the Garden from the exterior surroundings :-)

If you go to Woodlands Town Garden, you can enjoy the greenery and the unique design of the park amenities which has both Malay and Chinese elements. Sungei Mandai Kecil, a river that flows through the park, was also integrated in the design of the park. Part of this river that flows into the park was enlarged into a lake, irregularly-shaped for a natural look.

I enjoy photography a lot and so I took that opportunity to catch a few shots :-)

I really enjoy nature a lot and I love to walk or go briskwalkings. I hope I can schedule more such time as it is always refreshing to me.

How about you? Do you go for walks? What do find to be therapeutic when you are feeling down or stressed up?